I'm learning

Sometimes I think that things just can't get any better. And sometimes it feels like it can't get any worse (very fatalistic of me, I know). This morning though, I saw this quote on a friends facebook status...

"Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses, applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding and compassion, which polish you for your everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where he wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain." (Elder Richard G Scott)

Reading this made me feel better. I know that there are a lot of people who struggle much more than I do; who have greater challenges, bigger trials, etc. I also know that everything in life is a potential lesson to be learned. My mission President, during a particularly difficult time, said to me, "Hermana, you have to ask yourself what it is that Christ wants you to learn from this." I've never forgotten that (I can actually still hear his voice as he said it to me), and have tried to ask myself that question whenever I am faced with hard times.

One of the things I have learned from this experience (and something I seem to be continually learning!), is that there are so many things in this life that you think you have the handle on, but you really can't and don't control. God knows better than we do what is best for us, and it is a reminder that all things happen on his time and not ours. So, the key is to remain positive, have faith, and do your best. Apparently this is something that I need to keep on learning, so all I can say is, I'm trying. I think I'm getting there...at least, I hope so. :-)

On a lighter note, have you ever watched any of the videos by Terje Sorgjerd? You should, they are incredible. Especially this one... it's beautiful, peaceful, and the music fills me with happiness. Try it out, I doubt you'll regret it.


~CJ

Three's a Charm?

If you aren't up for a totally honest, and yes, emotional, post, you might as well stop reading now...

CT keeps saying we have to stay positive. And in theory, I agree. I truly believe that positive thinking can create positive actions or results. But sometimes its just so darned hard to stay positive. Like, really really hard.
2 miscarriages, a year apart. A year of trying. And its not enough that you have to go through the emotional pain of the loss...but its a very physical pain too. Each day reminding you of what you are going through. I guess it should make me grateful for how amazing the human body is and that we CAN go through things like this and still come out kicking on the other end of it. But I don't really feel that way, I just feel frustrated that its not over with yet.
Everyone says this happens all the time, to so many couples. And I know it does! I know that there are tons of women out there who go through much more painful experiences, and I have to remind myself that we should be grateful that we can even get pregnant, and that the miscarriage happened so early! But sometimes I don't understand why it happens to us. Sounds pretty juvenile, right? Its just hurt feelings talking more than anything else.

I guess I'm just ready for something totally amazing and beautiful. I feel like we deserve it...we're good people who try really hard to never hurt others and to live honest and happy lives. I know that I'm not giving up hope that good things are coming, and reminding myself that God's timing is not my own. I just have to be patient, hopeful, and positive. But seriously, can it just happen now please?

~CJ